Your emotions are logical, but your dominance is not high enough to execute them.

You experience negative emotion because you do not get what you want, which is harmful to your health.

What do you want?

You want a father and mother who are dominant.

You want a father and mother who shows you how to be dominant instead of dominating you.

So, you want a father and mother who cares about you instead of submitting to what others think about you as "their" child.

You won't get what you want because you cannot have another father and mother.

What did you do?

You ran away to search for what you wanted and found the father and mother you have, but not what you wanted.

You searched for a father and found shelters run by societies who care about funds and using you for labor, but not you.

You searched for a mother and found shelters run by societies who care about helping you to increase their reputation, but not you.

You as a man searched for a woman who cares about you instead of what you have, but this is not logical.

I have more information about this logic, but cant share it right now.

Why can't you get what you want?

You must accept you cannot get another father and mother.

You cannot get people who care about you unconditionally without their consideration of what you have.

You cannot understand them if these people exist.

You already learned. You lack dominance.

You must become dominant.